The teacher shows us how to do a back flip into the fabric. On my first attempt, I promptly fall flat on my butt. I do this several times until I am sitting on the mat exhausted and hear these words escape my mouth, “I can’t do this.”

I’ve ridden bucking horses, rearing horses, scared horses. I’ve had horses fall on me and I’ve gone for unsolicited blaring wild rides across acres of land. I can’t remember ever uttering these words.

Who am I? How could a piece of fabric undo me? I know I am looking like Lucy in an “I Love Lucy” episode and I wish for an Ethel to get me out of this mess. I manage to finally get into the hammock with help from the entire class.

Don’t be embarrassed to take help or ask questions.

This seems especially difficult when the teacher or another student is really cute or someone you look up to-or both. You are in class to learn and you aren’t expected to be great or even good. This class was humbling for me because there were times when the teacher and even some of the students were helping me verbally and physically. Instead of being comforted that they wanted to help me so much, I felt humiliated because I thought I should be able do it on my own. That was silly and slowed my progress. Accept whatever help it takes and keep asking until you understand. Be proud of yourself for being so courageous.

“You are the strongest one here but you’re trying too hard.” The teacher says as I finish the exercise.

I excuse myself early from my group and hobble down the hall to the bathroom to change. My arms are so exhausted that I think I might have to call for backup to get my pants pulled up. Twenty minutes later and a hysterical laughing fit in the bathroom, I meet my husband back out in the hall and he says the craziest thing.

“Honey, you were the strongest one there but you were just trying too hard.”

“Yeah, that’s what my teacher said too.” I say.

We laugh and I wobble down the steps to our car. We do Arnold Schwarzenegger muscle poses and make grunting sounds all day.  But not so deep down, I feel defeated.

Stop trying so hard.

I didn’t want to be the one holding up everyone else’s progress. I didn’t want to look like a fat fish floundering in the air. As a result, any self-confidence I had when I got there was crashing faster than I was from anything suspended from the ceiling.  I did a whole lot of unnecessary struggle thus bringing on the unimaginable phrase being uttered from my mouth, “I can’t”.

Don’t say “I can’t”.

I never felt so defeated after I said those words. I felt like I left my body and crawled off of the mat. It even seemed to bring everyone else down.  A better option would have been to say, “I feel like I can’t do this because my arms are tired” or “I do not understand the instructions. Can you show me or explain again?” Just don’t say “I can’t”. We all learn differently. You can learn with instruction that works for you. Instead say, “I think I can learn this if you show me or tell me differently.” I know when I am teaching a rider who is floundering I am relieved when they tell me they need a different example or explanation. Learning goes both ways.

Stop focusing on your perceived faults.

After I got home and saw the pictures, I belittled myself by telling myself I am way too fat and I look horrible. I was subconsciously doing this during the whole class too as I compared myself to all of the thinner younger women. I have worked hard to lose 30 pounds and to be flexible enough to do the splits. I had turned a long-awaited fun day into a miserable experience. I thought, “what if I treated my horses and my students the same way I am treating myself?” I wouldn’t even dream of doing that. So, why was I doing it to myself? Stop any criticism that isn’t constructive. Think about your little successes, the goals you’ve already achieved, and the ones you are working on every day. I am still working on my fitness and my health and it only discourages me to look at how far I have NOT come. Give yourself daily praise for even continuing to work towards your goals because that in itself is success.

These aerial lessons were a chance to learn one on one with a good instructor. I discovered that I really hadn’t ever learned to learn. Even though I’ve had great successes in the reining horse show pen, I’ve been carrying a lot of extra baggage that has been keeping me from flying to the heights I wish to fly. Trying something new like crawling through hoops and hanging from hammocks gave me the fresh perspective I didn’t even know I needed.

So, after this reflection and a hot bath in Epsom salts, I’ve decided to go back to the class and try out my new learning skills. And of course I’m using them every day with my horse and human students.  I’ll keep you updated on my flying and let me know how yours is going too. What learning experiences have you had outside of the horse environment that helped you better your horsemanship?

Thank you SkyCandy aerial arts studio in Austin, TX for this great learning experience. Here are some of their amazing instructors performing." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP5ugw6cKwU Thanks for all you are doing. Kristine Nesbitt